Hi everyone, I’m back!
Our wedding was wonderfully geeky, and we were very fortunate to have some incredible people participate in it and help us out! It turned out to be a perfect day, with weather better than predicted, and nothing major going wrong.
However, I want to tell the story with pictures, and our photographer is still working to get our photos to us (the preview pictures she has shown us are incredible!) But what I wanted to talk about today crosses from my wedding day to writing, and why you should never give up on yourself…
I Thought I Would Always Be Alone
My best friend (and best man) reminded me of something during the reception: when I was younger, I had a dream of a woman who was perfect for me. My definition of what that might entail evolved over the years as I grew and changed as a person, but I knew what I wanted…
And as time passed, and rejections from women grew in number, I started to despair. I started to believe that I was unlovable. This led me to some pretty bad relationships that only reinforced my belief that I was unworthy.
…but I kept trying anyway. I kept searching, even though I didn’t think anyone would ever think I was worth loving. As the years and years and years passed, no matter how much I was rejected or how many bad dates I went on, even surviving an emotionally abusive relationship, I kept trying.
And then she was there. The one who would one day become my wife. Of course I didn’t know it at the time, and I remember thinking, even when I asked if I could add her to my Facebook, “she won’t ever be interested in me.”
That led to friendship…which 4 months later led to dating, and six months later led to engagement, and a year and 3 months later, marriage.
After more than two decades of searching and dating and trying and failing and being rejected, I finally found what I had searched for. Someone who loved me, who believed I was worth loving. And when I realized this last week, I knew that I had to pass the message on to everyone else…
Keep Going. Never Give Up. Even If You Don’t Believe
The same goes for writing. Hell, the same goes for everything in life, but since this is a writing blog, let’s focus on that.
Writers get rejections, from agents and editors. But does that mean you’re unworthy, that your stories aren’t worthy, and you should stop trying? If JK Rowling had stopped trying after her first couple of rejections, Harry Potter would not be the phenomenon that it is today.
Writers get bad reviews, on Amazon and everywhere else. Does this mean that their novel is really horrible and not worth reading? If you get a few bad reviews, should you take it to heart and stop writing? Everyone gets bad reviews. Every book. Take a look at your favorite book on Amazon, no matter how good it is, and you’ll find one-star reviews. Even Ready Player One, which is now a major motion picture making millions, got one-star reviews.
What if you get published, or are self-published, and your books aren’t selling well? Should you just…stop? No. First, harkening back to a blog I wrote about an author who re-branded his books, his initial publication was getting him few sales. When he learned from his mistakes and re-branded his book, he started selling thousands of copies.
If you don’t believe in yourself, but you’re still passionate, GO FOR IT! Don’t stop!!! Keep doing it, if for no other reason than your love of it, your passion, your desire to make it, your desire to write and get readers.
Because even if it takes decades, one day, whether you believe in yourself or not, someone else might. And then your books will sell. And you’ll write more. And more. And more. And before you know it, you’ve achieved your ultimate goals.
The other option is to give up. But then you’ll be left wondering for the rest of your life, “What if?”
If I gave up…I’d never have met my Starshine. Never would have asked for her hand in marriage. Never cried the happiest tears of my life when I watched her walk down the aisle towards me.
What might you risk never seeing if you give up?
What might you never get to experience if you don’t try?
“What if I fail?” Rubbish question. “What if I succeed?” Now that is a question worth pondering…